Robert Jordan, You will be Missed

It is with great sadness that I bring news of the death of a great author who I have been reading for years. Today, Robert Jordan succumbed after a long and heroic struggle with a rare blood disease is tantamount the struggles of the characters that he wrote about with such obvious care and compassion. His Wheel of Time series, spanning 11 books to date, was a New York Times bestseller for each volume and became an instant phenomena the world over. It is a sad day when a great talent is taken from us before his time. Unfortunately, it is always before the right time when great people are taken away.

I remember reading the first book of this series, The Eye of the World, quite a few years ago on vacation and instantly being hooked to the great characters and the intricate plotlines. It is true that it can get quite confusing, but I have been collecting each book in hardcover over the past few years with the intention of rereading the entire series one day when I have the free time. I find that perhaps the greatest tragedy here is that a man who invested so much of himself in this incredibly complex and personal story to him and we will be unable to fully understand how all of his plots play out in the master's definitive edition. I fear that the volume that inevitably comes out will be missing a great deal without his sure hand at play on every page.

With all of this in mind, he lived a long and fruitful life and I am just glad that I could share some of his stories. He is an inspiration to me and in my endeavors in life. The way in which he fought so valiantly in the end is something that all should approach every aspect of life with.

A Horrific Injury in the NFL

I was watching the football game between the Buffalo Bills and the Denver Broncos and I witnessed something that I hope to never see again. A backup Tight End for the Bills, Kevin Everett, made a seemingly innocuous block of Domenik Hixon on a kick return to start the second half. At first I didn't know what had happened, but soon realized that Everett was not moving on the field. Its a very sobering realization when you are sitting on the couch enjoying one of your favorite sports and then you see somebody injured in such a fashion. I must confess that while he didn't move at all as they took him off the field in the ambulance, I was relieved to see him blink on the way into the ambulance.

Everett's prognosis is not encouraging, as the associated press has reported that he has a cervical spine injury and is currently in intensive care and on a respirator. Never mind the thought of when will he play again for the Bills, the questions have turned to whether or not he will walk again or even whether he will even have use of his arms or legs again. This is a very horrible thing to happen, but I was glad to see all the fans and players were clapping him off the field as a show of support to his health.

I fervently hope that I never see something as senseless as this happen for the rest of my life. All my prayers go out to Kevin Everett and his family during this painful time.

Football Fever

Football fever is upon us once again. Today is the first day of the NFL regular season and many, including myself, are psyched about its beginning. For me, it gives me a reason to keep Sunday to myself with little to no homework. Instead, I can relax on the couch or watch the games with friends and enjoy the day without worrying TOO much about all of my other obligations. The Lord did say that Sunday is a day for rest, and I intend to take that advice to heart during the football season and watch and see if my beloved Bengals can get off their asses and do what they have been capable of doing ever since the Carson Palmer and Chad Johnson era began.

Elsewhere in the NFL, all eyes are turned on Peyton Manning who finally got that elusive super bowl ring on his finger. Will he repeat and solidify his hall of fame potential? Maybe. One thing is for sure, however, unlike Michigan the Indianapolis Colts definitely have a chance to achieve football glory this year. Other teams will be out to dethrone the Colts, and tonight will be a matchup that many think has definite postseason potential. Tonight, the Colts and the New Orleans Saints will fight and I feel myself rooting for the Saints.

Last year was the first full year after Katrina, and the New Orleans Saints, who played to a 10-4 division championship, formed a rallying point for the denizens of New Orleans. Its always nice to see the positive effects that sports can have on the community as a whole, especially in this Michael Vick Dogfighting era. I definitely find myself hoping that the Saints can have a repeat season and continue the healing process in New Orleans.

Whatever happens this year, I am sure that it will be a fun year for football fans. And I will be loving every minute of it. I also sincerely hope that this Vick controversy dies down and we stop hearing about it every single year. Maybe if the Falcons do well without Vick this may happen.

Motivation!?!

Jess and I have been trying of late to get ourselves up earlier and earlier each morning, and we never realized just how difficult it really is to do. There is something so inviting and alluring about staying bundled up in covers in bed, even if my bed is horrific compared to hers, and watching through slitted eyelids your alarm clock tick (unlikely in this digital world, I know) ever closer to that dreadful alarm. It really seems that we would like nothing less than to just stay in bed for the entire day. It would certainly be better than a day spent dealing with clients or a day spent studying the refuse practices of a Maya city in the Yucatan peninsula! These thoughts and more just race through my head as I try to force myself out of bed and it just becomes so damn difficult. GRRRRRR!!

Excuse my language!

It is just so difficult to get motivated sometimes in this day and age where there are so MANY other things to do that are both more fun and sometimes even feel more worthwhile. Now, this may just be me. I really have no way of telling if others feel the same way as me about this, but I really don't think that I am alone. Even those around me who seem to be, quite literally, stuck with their heads in their books and also seem to have limitless motivation towards what they are doing have their moments where they can't seem to get anything done either. I really wish it was easy for me as well, but maybe that just isn't how life is to me. I like to think that it is a test in some way to make me into a better person and all of these difficulties will be met with rewards later on in life.

Looking back on my life as well as forward, I see so many great things that have happened in my life that the instances of hardship are easier to deal with in the overabundance of love and compassion I am fortunate enough to have. Why am I writing this? I'm not really sure myself. I just sat down and started putting my thoughts down. I think I'm in a time right now where I just feel so pressured to get things done because I CERTAINLY am not staying here any longer than I have to and, in writing this, I am putting down many of the fears I have about school and the future.

Reading through what I have written, however, I realize that I am in a very good place in my life (both professionally and personally) and I look forward to what life brings me in the present and in the future.

Just checking in

This post is meant for me to check in with all of my faithful readers out there, hopefully by now there are some. I knew this was going to happen when I started school up, but I will be posting whenever I get the time and the inclination to share my thoughts with the world. With my mind so preoccupied with school and my need to graduate at the end of the current school year, it has become very difficult for me to muster up the motivation to keep writing. I am keeping up with my schoolwork, but alas never quite enough. I still find myself slacking off from time to time, but I would be hard pressed to come up with any student who doesn't have this problem.

Nevertheless, I have a firm deadline for my second draft (Sep. 19th) from which I will embark upon the thesis itself. In addition to this, of course, I need to think ahead to what will happen after I graduate and work on my resume as well as look for different potential career paths. What I might do is still slightly up in the air, but I have at least come to the conclusion that I want to work in some computer-oriented career and I think that is a good place to start. Additionally, it is something that is needed in many places so I feel confident about it.

Well, until next time, everyone have a great late summer into fall. Hopefully, it isn't too long until I see some of you in person.

Happy Anniversary!!!

Six years ago today my life completely and irrevocably changed. I did not know this at the time, of course, but it is true. This was the day that Jessica and I started to date and, six years later, we are planning our wedding; ready to spend the rest of our lives together. Throughout these past six years, she has been my closest confidante and my best friend and I am truly gifted to be able to spend my life with her. Though we cannot be together on this momentous occasion, I know that our hearts are connected in a way that can span the distance that we are apart. As often as I think of her, I know that at least some of those times she is also thinking about me and I take great comfort in this knowledge.

On reflecting over the past six years, I am amazed at how long it seems and how short it seems at the same time. There are so many great memories that we have shared over these years, and it sometimes seems hardly possible that all of them could possibly be contained in only six years. Yet, I can remember our first date at Mentor Beach like it was yesterday. I know that's cliched a bit, but I honestly can remember it that well. I knew at that point that something special was beginning, I just didn't realize how special it was going to be.

Like any relationship, we have had our downs just as we have had our ups. We have always used our love for each other to work through these, and they have only served to strengthen our relationship even further. The result is that, six years after our initial date, we are so much stronger than we were then. This strength has made this forced separation so much easier to bear, knowing that we will be together again soon and then it will be for the rest of our lives.

Thank you, Jess, for always being there for me when I need your inspiration and love. I love you with all that I can muster, and I look forward to all of our years to come.

Reds win six in a row!!!

Some may say that it is too late for the Reds to make a run at anything this year. They may be right, but keep this in mind: since Pete Mackanin took over on July first the reds are 27-19, which is the best during that time span of anyone in the National League Central. So, can the Reds make a comeback of historic proportions? As a long-time reds fan, for as long as I can remember, I believe it is possible.

With the first place Cubs having a record of 66-63 and the Brewers fading fast, it might just take a miracle for anyone to win a decisive victory in the Central. Someone needs to start taking control of this division, because it has been absolutely horrible the last few years. The Cardinals, who won the division last year, only had 83 wins!! Pretty much every other division in baseball at least has a 90 game winner take first place. So, with that said, I would love the Reds to take this opportunity to become the type of team that can do that.

Of course, with them 10 games under .500 with 30-some games to go, they would literally have to win all of their remaining games in order to get to 90. But if the other teams in the central start playing even a little worse than they already are, it might just be possible for them to make it into the playoffs. But lets be serious, I think we all realize that this is a most unlikely goal. However, it would be really nice for them to make a strong showing under their interim manager Pete Mackanin, who many think should inherit the full-time job once the season is over.

Regardless of what happens, I am much encouraged by what I have seen of late. The pitching is finally showing signs of life and the offense has been incredible of late. If they can keep this up, make a few good signings in the offseason, they just might be ready to revitalize this central division and give me the chance to see an all Ohio World Series!!!! Please, dear god, at least once in my life.

In the Midst of Horrors

With all of the tragedies coming out of the middle East on a daily basis, I have recently come across a very human tragedy. CNN has reported that a 5-year-old was doused with flames and then lit on fire. Thankfully, he has survived. During a war where chaos is the norm and we become accustomed to people dying in the name of a cause, this still strikes a chord. Whether we believe in the cause is immaterial at this point. We are not, and I pray we never become so, accustomed to such brutality towards a child. They have no say in anything going on around them, and of all humans on the face of this earth they deserve to be kept out of world events that some have called the "End Times".

It is insane for me to think that anybody could do this, and even more insane that I would be less amazed if this had happened to an American child. I am sickened at myself slightly with what I have just written, but with the amount of negative attitudes in the world towards the United States I could at least come up with a reason. Not that there is any reason that this should ever happen, but this boy is a native youth and I cannot even in the depths of my soul find a reason why something like this would ever have been planned and executed.

With all of these insane things happening more and more often, I think it is important for us to all remember that we are all human. There are no layers of humanity, one is not better or worse than another. While morals and actions on an individual scale may cause conflicts, we are all inherently the same when looking at ourselves as a species. So I implore anyone who is reading this to make small efforts to make others lives better. I think the movie "Pay it Forward" had the right idea with its message of helping. You don't need to be awarded for your efforts, in fact that sometimes defeats the purpose. Just go out, all of you, and live your life to the fullest.

Review of "Perfume"

"Perfume: The Story of a Murderer", based off of a best-seller written by Patrick Suskind, was a very strange movie. I'm not sure that I could really say that it was bad as far as movies go. I could definitely tell the care that went into the acting and the cinematography, and there are a couple of well-known actors who are in this movie: Dustin Hoffman and Alan Rickman. However, there were many times where the aberrant behavior (as the ratings disclaimer claimed) was just a little too much for me.

Part psychotic killer, part soft-core pornography, and part strange. As such, "Perfume" is just too difficult to really nail down and put into one specific genre. The story, as far as it goes, revolves around a young man born into squalid surroundings in eighteenth century Paris who just so happens to have the best nose in the world (or at least in London). This is claimed by the protagonist himself at one point in the movie. The psychotic, and rather innocently naive, tendencies soon begin to manifest as he is determined to duplicate every single smell in the entire world and he begins to take scents of young women, which unfortunately for them resolves in their deaths. I can't give much more away without spoiling parts of the movie that might not be immediately obvious from the title or the description on the back of the dvd.

Suffice it to say, this movie is neither horrible or great. It is an experience in and of itself, and for that I cannot say that I regret watching the movie. Indeed, I do seem to keep going back to the movie trying to make sense of it. It is not traditional storytelling at all and as such may be difficult for most to stomach. Additionally, I can imagine that many people would become uncomfortable with the blatant sexuality in evidence throughout the movie. If you are looking for a deeper movie than most at your local video store, then I would recommend this. If anything, you should be talking about it with anyone you watch it with.

Michael Vick plea bargain

There can be little doubt in most people's minds now about Michael Vick's guilt. The charges, which have been pled down to felony conspiracy, deal with dogfighting rings that he paid for and took an active interest in. According to CNN, the defense in the case is reporting that he has taken a plea agreement for the aforementioned charge. This plea severely jeopardizes his career, and includes possible jail time. It seems obvious in my mind that Vick saw what was coming and did the only thing he could do. I doubt very much that his supposedly heartfelt statements claiming how sorry he was for what had occurred were in any way genuine. For someone to even be a part of this type of cruelty, they must have a morally bereft soul. Thankfully, with this ring largely put out of operation, dogs that might have been a part of this may live.

Unfortunately, just because this ring was put out of commission doesn't mean that the problem at large is any closer to going away. Here are some links that provide further information about the world of dogfighting and the Michael Vick case in General.

Michael Vick

Source: Vick a 'heavyweight in dogfighting.
Falcons' Vick Indicted in Dogfighting Case
Pet-Abuse.Com - Animal Abuse Case Details (very thorough source)

Dog-Fighting
Dog-Fighting (Wikipedia) many links

Dog-Fighting Fact Sheet
Dogfighting

All moved in and ready to go (Almost)

Well, I am finally established back down into my apartment in Las Cruces. School starts on Wednesday, but I am going to be getting into a rhythm starting today so that this coming semester goes off without a hitch and I get a great deal of work done before coming back between semesters for Christmas. The first thing I decided to do was to get my room to a point that is, I like to think anyway, close to the level of cleanliness that I have enjoyed at Jess's apartment over the past seven weeks. She would be glad to know, I'm sure, that I came home last night and basically shuddered at the state of my room and the apartment as a whole.

I intend to slowly clean the rooms because I have found that the less anxious I am the better work I do. I suppose this is an obvious thing, but its true just the same. I hope that I can make sure to keep everything tidy throughout the school year and that it will look the same at the end of the semester as it does now!! Well, I'm off to continue cleaning (or playing games) and get myself mentally prepared for a semester that may prove to be the most trying yet.

Preview of what is to come

Today is my final day staying in Columbus for the summer. It has been a great time. I have done much over the past seven weeks, and I will be sad to see this time with Jess go. Hopefully, this next year will go by fast and I will be back with her and planning our wedding soon enough. Hopefully with a job that pays in the vicinity of 60k (heheh). I don't really have much to say in this post, but I want to say that I will most likely not post either as many times or with such duration as I have since the genesis of this blog.

That was a time spent trying to understand myself as a blogger in this new cyber age. I think that I have had decent postings, but I know it has been very random, though that is in keeping with the name of the blog itself. I will keep posting, but about what and how frequently will be up in the air. I will take anything you have to say with equal measure and attempt to tailor to what you want. Well, have a great work year or school year, and remember what your Uncle Billy says, "Don't buy drugs...... Get famous, and they give them to you for free!!" (Love Actually) Just a joke, drugs are bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Haunted Man

The man sitting in the plush armchair was haunted. This kind of haunting was not one of a ghostly incorporeal nature. Memories haunted this man and held him in a vise-grip from which he cannot break free. He sat quite still in his daughter’s room, looking with fondness and a bit of wry sadness at her beautiful hair and delicate features. So much like her, he thought. He is thinking of his ex-wife and ex-lover, a woman who stole his heart long ago and has never let go.

The haunting began years ago, when his wife began to show the first symptoms of her disease. They had told him that the disease was incurable and mental. They were the doctors, and he thought that they were full of shit. He had often had dreams about these doctors and the things he did to them were not for the likes of pleasant company. His incurable romanticism had as much of a grasp on him as his wife had on his heart. There was nothing that could ever tear them apart. Theirs love was eternity, and their eternity was love.

The trips to the hospital became more frequent as the years went by, and his desperation rose like mercury in an old thermometer as she would yell at him at the slightest provocation. His love for her reduced all of her hateful and spiteful ranting into willowy shades of what they really were, and it was all those dimly remembered fights that haunted him still. I should have known and I should have done something, he thought for the thousandth time. He was angry with himself, and something of this anger was evident in his grim visage as he watched the only remnants of his once dynamic relationship.

His daughter’s soft sigh broke his reverie. He looked at her as a new person each time he saw her. He found this to be a necessary exercise in mental discipline, and allowed him to separate his feelings for his daughter and his ex-wife. It was becoming harder as the years went on. Young Kayleigh began to resemble her mother more and more, her eight year old frame only starting to look like her mother. The man in the armchair was not sure whether this was reality or his mind conjuring up visions. Since the mind is king, he supposed it really didn’t matter.

A small noise drew his attention away from Kayleigh. The noise was so slight that he was sure he hadn’t heard it at all, but it was repeated with a hurried intensity a moment later.

The house was old, and it came with all of the usual problems associated with houses past a hundred years. He and his wife had bought it on a whim during their wonder years and had planned to put some good hard work into it and then sell it for a shitload more than they had paid. Those plans were upset by the untimely, yet not unwanted, birth of their son Frederick. Unlike the ancient house, Frederick didn’t last very long at all. The early death of their firstborn had only hastened his wife’s mental deterioration even further.

Something about this noise that he was now hearing made him pause before proceeding down the stairs to its source. He was afraid. His feelings were that simple and he was completely unsure as to its genesis. It was wrong and he could feel it in his bones. However, as any aficionado of creeper movies is aware, the things that go bump in the night are almost seductive in their very nature and impossible to avoid. Besides, this was his own house on a quiet street in a quiet neighborhood. Were anything to happen, he was assured that his very helpful neighbors would be out en masse to help.

The noise coming from downstairs began to sound like the ticking of an old style grandfather clock. His mind’s eye conjured up a menacing figure of a grandfather clock on the prowl and he began to have serious doubts about his own sanity. No more creeping, goddamnit. This is fucking ridiculous, he thought. He flipped on the switch and saw an empty hallway with bright yellow wallpaper. His wife would be furious at him if she knew how much he wanted to tear down that ridiculous wallpaper. He pounded his head in frustration, attempting to stop himself from thinking about her and the past. The pain brought him swiftly back to his senses.

After going halfway down the old stairs, he noticed that the noise had stopped its slow cadence. For some inestimable reason, this scared him more than the noise had in the first place and he almost lost his will and fled back to the relative safety of his daughter’s room.

“All right, this is ridiculous,” he said. “There is no one here and you know it. You are getting way too addled in your old age.” He said all of this out loud to himself, a habit he had picked up since his wife’s departure. He wasn’t loud enough to wake up his daughter, and there was something comforting in the small reverberations issuing forth from the empty house. He reached the bottom of the flight of stairs and turned into the living room. With a slight tremble in his hand, he flicked the lights on. He stopped dead in his tracks with a look of sheer horror on his face.

“Hello Gerald. It has been such a long time.”

The next few moments would never escape the narrowed confines of Gerald’s memories. She moved with a grace that he remembered so well from their many happy nights together. This time, however, she was not the same woman who had caressed his face with obvious love and attention. This creature was like something transformed. She briefly reminded him of the harpies that he had read about so many years before in High School.

He just barely managed to escape her talon-like clutches as she attempted to wrap her long fingers around his neck. In her heightened state of delusion she posed a threat to him. In normal times, her small frame and delicate features would not have stood a chance against his husky lumberjack frame. These times were far from ordinary, and he knew that he needed to think fast to avoid her attacks even as he was attempting to save her. He knew his first priority was his daughter and he was determined to keep her safe no matter the reason.

“I know you blame me for his death,” he said. He was casting for anything that might tap into the woman he remembered, and the event that had started her spiral was the best he could think of. Her hands were still reaching for his throat, but he believed that he felt a small diminution in her forward advances.

“I blame myself more than you could ever know. He was the world to me…. to us! What happened was unavoidable. You were a great mother to Frederick and you can be a great mother to Kayleigh.”

She had heard all of this before. Perhaps it was the proximity of her only daughter in the room upstairs or the man she had loved at arms length, but for once she seemed to take it to heart. He was not fooled. He had seen her relapse so often during her days at the treatment hospital that he had long ago stopped believing what she said. The love was still there, but that was all that remained. Most of that love was for the memories they had together.

“Gerald?”, she asked. “Is that really you, or is this another trick by the doctors?” He knew she was referring to the various techniques that her caretakers had employed to attempt to help her. Attempt being the optimum word. Nothing that they had every tried had achieved more than a modicum of success. Her mental break had seemed total and irreversible. She seemed to be having a small moment of clarity at this time, and he saw this and he hoped that it might be enough to talk her down and get her back to those who could help her.

“Honey,” he spoke, attempting to speak as if they were still married. In his confused mind, he believed that this would make it easier. “Do you know where you are?”

“This is our house, silly? Don’t you think I know where we live?” she spoke. Though her voice remained passive and even friendly, her physical reactions still bespoke the physical aggression that she had started this conversation with. He knew that the inevitable downswing may be only moments away.

“Of course I know that.” He was finding it difficult to keep his voice from wavering. “I was just joking with you. Now, why don’t you sit down over here and we can talk.”

She glanced towards the sofa briefly, but it was all the time that Gerald needed. He rushed forward and knocked her to the ground. The off-white hospital gown that she had been wearing when she had managed her escape rode up on her and exposed white panties. Something else was evident, however, and it made him pause. Soft bruises were evident around her waist. They looked purple in the bright light of the room, and he thought they looked self-inflicted. This latest revelation was too much for him, and he concentrated on subduing her. This proved difficult as she was now bucking up and down and Gerald had a fleeting image of himself on a mechanical bull. He saw no humor in this. Only sadness.

He did the only thing he could think and he hit her, hard, on the back of the head. He didn’t think this was the appropriate time for restraint. As a former boxer, he knew how to deliver a knockout and this time was no different. She stopped moving altogether, and he was able to turn her over and look at her face. He checked to make sure she was breathing, and then he tied her hands and feet with some rope that he had hanging up by the back door. It wasn’t the tightest knot he could make but it was sufficient to do the job.

He called the emergency hotline and then the police. He double checked his wife’s restraints. Then he rushed up to his daughter’s side to make sure she was alright and had not been too scared by the brief altercation. He reached her door and looked into her room. She was still there. His heart stopped beating as fast and he took a moment to compose himself before he went into the room and woke her up. He was always truthful with his daughter, and this time was no different.

“Hey honey, wake up,” he said.

“Daddy? Its dark still. Is school starting?”, she asked with innocent, wild eyes.

“No honey. It’s still the summer, but I need to tell you something. Your mother is here, but before I let you come and see her you need to know that we both love you very much. ... You know that your mother is not well, right?”

“Yeah.”, she managed. She had begun to sit up in bed and her eyes went curiously towards the stairwell. Quiet, gentle sobs were coming up from the first floor. They had an edge of hysteria to them but had failed to reach that far.

“Some people are coming to take her back so she can get help, but I’ll let you see her if you want. Only if you want to, its completely up to you." He left the question unanswered.

She didn’t answer for several moments, and Gerald could see that her eyes kept darting up to the ceiling then out towards the stairwell. This classic sign of memory made him think that she was trying to remember her mother. She had been five when the break had finally occurred, and he knew that those memories were dim at best. When she did answer, it came in the form of a gesture. She moved her head from side to side slowly as though the decision was difficult for her to make.

“I’m afraid.”

This simple answer from his beautiful daughter made the emotions that he had been feeling bubble up to the surface, and he began to weep. His daughter looked up with watery eyes of her own, though these may have been caused by her sleepiness, and she buried her head in his chest and wrapped her arms around his broad frame. They couldn’t quite reach, but at that moment they were all that was keeping him grounded.

The sound of approaching sirens brought him back to the present, and he gazed down at his daughter once again. Her eyelids were beginning to droop, in danger of closing completely, and he smiled. He knew then that whatever was to happen tonight with his wife and the police, everything would be surmountable as long as he had his daughter by his side.

“Go to bed then, my angel.” She giggled when he called her angel, then drifted back off to sleep.

“Sweet dreams,” he whispered. He stayed for one more silent moment. Then, with heavy steps, he began to walk back down to his ex-wife and the questions that the policeman would have as well as the doctors. For now, however, he believed that her haunting of him had come to an end. He would be content to be there for her as she continued on in her treatments, but he knew now that his true place would be right there in that rickety old house with a daughter he loved and cherished. His last thought was one of joy and jubilation despite the mess that awaited him downstairs.

Michael Vick: the Public has Spoken

Michael Vick has, allegedly, been keeping dogs for the sole purpose of sicking them on each other. Shades of gladiators from the past, this offense is somehow worse in many people's minds than harm or death to fellow humans. Maybe it is because people regard animals as simple creatures with very little if any of the freewill that we take for granted. If Michael Vick were accused of murdering a fellow human being, I believe most people would just shake their heads in disgust and go about on their merry paths. For some reason, however, the fury from many people both in and out of the limelight is quiet a strange reaction overall.

Some people point to Mr. Vick's race and say that he is being treated unfairly simply because he is a black man, but I really do not see this as a viable reason as to why people are seeming to gang up on him. In fact, I would have assumed that his status as a black athlete at the top of his game would have given him several more advantages than others who are at his same societal position. With people often afraid of that race card being pulled, I expected that he would have been given leeway as a black celebrity. However, based on the severity of his alleged crime, people are just so disgusted that they want to see justice for all of those dogs who had been so severely mistreated.

From what I have previously written, I know my bias is abundantly clear. I would like to say, however, that I am writing this intentionally from what I have heard within the public realm. I have not pored over the evidence or been able to look over court transcripts because the trial has not yet started. Innocence or guilt is not what I am specifically interested in, and if he turns out to be innocent then I offer my apologies, but it is the public reactions that I am much more interested in. Unfortunately, regardless of the verdict issued forth with the upcoming trial, the public has spoken which speaks of a possible lifetime grudge against Michael Vick and all he does. We have seen this before with O.J. Simpson, who very few believe is actually innocent of the murder of his late wife. It really is an interesting subject, I think.

The Nature of My Insomnia

To be unable to sleep is perhaps one of the most disquieting things that can happen to anyone. I lay in bed, just trying to keep my eyes closed for more than a millisecond just to suddenly realize that I am staring at the dark ceiling and that I have been now for several minutes. For me, it is the incessant chatter that is going on in my brain all the time, but most especially at that time when normality says we are supposed to be shutting down all but the autonomic functions and entering REM state and that wonderful phenomenon known as dreams. Now, I don't mean this in a psychologically distressing way (I do not suffer from Schizophrenia), but in the sense that I am contemplating one thing or another.

I remember when I was a kid this kind of night time seclusion was a safe haven for me and a place that I could go to escape many of the normal adolescent woes that have plagued humanity for time on end. Unlike my fiancee, I have never had the ability to go to sleep at the proverbial drop of a hat. Instead of drifting blissfully off to sleep, I think about one or more of thousands of different topics. I think you can get the idea of just how crowded it can get at times; sometimes I think in detail about books I've read and what may have happened after the last page, or I think about world problems and how I am impacted on a daily basis, or I think about a story that I am considering and how best to turn the storyline, or I quite simply think about the future that Jess and I have in store for us.

The point of all this rambling is that all of this is going on in my mind which makes it very difficult for me to get to that level of personal comfort necessary for my mind to enter the sweet oblivion of rejuvenating sleep. On a sidenote, the fact that I am continually sore these days from excessive use of the Wii (!) is definitely not helping. Additionally, the fact that I will soon be leaving Jess for New Mexico is weighing heavily on my soul and, even though we both know how necessary this degree is for my future, I find myself wishing that it was next year at this time so that we could, finally, start our life together and really start planning our wedding.

Unlike many people, I am sometimes more comfortable wallowing in my own personal reveries than spending too much time with other people in idle banter and conversation. The unfortunate downside to this is that my mind is constantly in overdrive. I pray that with school comes a kind of scheduling that will allow me to go to bed and wake up at roughly the same time day in and day out. After a few weeks I should be getting to sleep with very little difficulty.