Yesterday I noticed something on television that has assured me that the downfall of western civilization has indeed begun. I was watching FOX, and one commercial before an episode of Simpson's told me quite plainly that the episode was brought to me by Dairy Queen. I then proceeded to watch the episode and was dismayed that it was not candy coated or made into an ice cream cake in front of my very eyes. If something is brought to my by a confectioner, than I damn well better be eating cake or ice cream within the next fifteen minutes!!
*This paragraph has been brought to you by the Walrus*
It has become a very annoying trend over the past few years that everything is branded. I think I first noticed it during baseball games with things such as the "Toyota Spotlight" or the "Wendy's Play of the Game" began to appear with frightening regularity. What in god's name Wendy's really had to do with baseball, I will never understand. This has happened so slowly that it barely even registers that I am being sold something. I understand the nature of it from the perspective of the advertiser's, I really do. There are many, many gullible people in the world who will fall for every line of advertisement that is fed to them. I am equally sure that these companies probably do make more money in the long run because of these completely obtrusive ads. This is not the point, however.
*This paragraph brought to you by YOUR FACE (private joke, sorry)*
I am, quite simply, tired of it and I have begun to notice just how much these ads have infiltrated all of my favorite shows and movies. Now, product placement in movies and tv shows is something that has been done for years with varying degrees of success. I'm sure that drinking games set to those placements in ... let's say a Michael Bay movie, would make the participants quite drunk. This can be done well, though, and doesn't always take away from the overall approachfulness of the movies.
*This paragraph has been brought to you by the great taste of Charleston Chew*
This newest trend though, perhaps designed as an active countermeasure against dvrs and tivos (thanks Jess), really bothers me. I watch the television, fully aware that I will have to sit through commercials (sometimes), to escape my reality (Isn't that the main reason really?) only to be forced time and time again back into my living room when I suddenly realize that my fingers have begun to subconsciously dial the phone for Dairy Queen because I have inextricably developed a ravenous desire for a nice ice cream cake. And while I'm at it, why don't I pay extra to have a picture of MY FACE added to the top so I can have the curious sensation of eating my own face!! Absurd, I know, but I think it gets the point across rather nicely. My greatest fear, now that it has completely encased my beloved television set is that it will make the dreaded, yet understandable (from the company's viewpoint) leap into the video game realm. Not too difficult to imagine since the internet is already rife with a million and one different types of ads. Think hard on this lesson, young Padawan, for this is the future and the future is now.
*Finally, this paragraph has been brought to you by God (who has finally decided to get into the act!)*
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From the moment the first Mercedes-Benz CLS four-door "coupe" was introduced to the public, other German luxury automakers hit the drafting board. According to the German auto experts at AutoBild, Audi is just over a year away from unleashing its own cleverly packaged sedan.
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